Then Goes Tromping Around Wearing Boots Like Gaston!

This blog post is positively bursting with masculinity! Appropriate, of course, because I am an extremely masculine person. I do use antlers in all of my decorating.

And this entry will mark the last of my 'Beauty and the Beast' titled entries, which became kind of a pain and I'm glad I won't feel the need to tie my titles to the show anymore. I always think that will make things easier, and then I get really bored. Also, 'Beauty and the Beast' the musical is not a triumph of lyricism. However, I saved my favourite line from my favourite song for this last one.

Anyway, a million years ago when I last wrote something, I talked about the most fun I had ever had in a theatre. This is what it was:

Epic Nerf battle!

The crew at STC has developed a kind of obsession with Nerf merchandise (Nerfandise?), and they all have their own guns, which, being technical wizards, they souped up and made amazing, and with which, they shoot each other.

This might all have started with Natalie, above, who is a lovely girl until she gets behind the nerf.

They are all very proficient at using these weapons, and they have some pretty amazing ones, and a wide variety of different attack tactics (attacktics?). At some point they started doing battles when the theatre was shut down, because the theatre, of course, offers lots of vantage points, hiding spots, ways to kill and ways to be killed.

Our cast, being a fun loving and murderous bunch, got in on it. AND I GAVE EVERYONE NICKNAMES.

James aka Papa Bear

Stu aka Philip Seymour Hoffman: The Revenge

John aka Lonesome Polecat

Helen aka The Finnisher

Because, as you will see, the only thing I have to offer sports are my gift of puns. I called the whole thing 'Nerf, Wind, and Fire'. Which I think is an amazing name, and trademarked by me.

We got equipped and charged up and put on safety goggles and borrowed guns and ran around all evening long.

To kill the suspense: I was of course the worst, as I am the worst at everything, particularly something that involves running AND aim AND confidence AND terror AND not panicking AND surprise attacks. My complete inability to play any sport was well proven in the absolute disastrous performance I gave.

However....I played. And I am counting that as a victory. And it was very fun. Another victory.

Actual victories? Zero.

But man, it was a good time. Amazing to think of the entire theatre as a playground was so exciting. And it took team bonding to a whole new level...a level where we shot each other.

And, because I hate losing, I got myself a Nerf gun and am going to practice, and go back, and dominate. Such is my plan.

AND, BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST TESTOSTERONEY POST EVER, MEET THE MOST TESTOSTERONED PERSON I HAVE EVER CREATED: BRAWNY. Second trailer for Modern Love, y'all!