Come Blow Your Horn, Start Celebrating

Yes, I am procrastinating doing things I have to do by writing a blog post. Wanna fight about it?

Also, I have no theatrical pictures to show, so I'm posting, for the first time I think, evidence of one of my deepest loves: text in strange and public places. There's something about it that makes me feel lonely and connected at the same time.

Anyway, the procrastination. It's not my fault. I don't have anything now coming up for quite a while, and it's so hard to work really hard on stuff that seems far away. I want to announce things but I'm going to wait until they're all official like, because I am nothing if not proper. But anyway. I have irons in the fire, but the irons are like a million feet long and so the fire is just this little flicker in the distance, and I can't care about that when there is terrible television to watch, right?


Well, they probably aren't that far away, and there is stuff that I have to do NOW for proposals and putting things in motion, but....you know. It's just very easy to slip into apathy. Terrifyingly easy. I'm also tired. I FINALLY finished all of the performance stuff I had. Since May, I have always had something coming right up. And now I don't. I was supposed to have a project in October and it got cancelled. It's kind of a big bummer, and it's thrown me from feeling quite comfortable with having a month long break to absolutely panicking about having a three month long break. I turned stuff down because I thought I was doing it, which I guess is a lesson to never turn anything down, but, realistically, I couldn't have done them all, so I guess sometimes things just don't work out and it sucks, and that's the real lesson to learn. Shitty lesson!


So. I'm in some sort of paralysis between apathy and terror. I think this is where I live. I should move.

For the past two nights I was helping my friend do a cabaret fundraiser for her new theatre company, so I performed some weird schticky thing that I do, my vocal masque, which I have spoken of here. It really is my favorite thing to do. I just love it. And it went well, people were into it, which is always so exciting. I didn't know many people there, so I felt strange about performing, but as socially awkward as I felt, it was really great to see new faces and have them see my work. And to be applauded and told lovely things by people who have no obligation to. Nice to expand the network, but it's even nicer to be confronted with how many people are fighting so hard, how many people are willing to put themselves out there for art and friends. And how very talented some people are, like this lady. And cabarets are so great, to see all this different kind of stuff, one thing after another. I don't go to many, but every time I do I always am thrilled that they did not out last my squirrel like attention span. And I had a terrific time at this one.

But, now I'm all out! No more performing for a bit!


Frozen yogurt instead?