First off is an 'Ensemble' member. We're this troupe of travelling players who do Alice in Wonderland. So I am kind of a clowny, happy person who loves performing for children. Because this is essentially who I am in real life (save for my curmudgeonly bitterness and hatred for all living things), this part is fun for me. I actually love doing the narration bits. Maybe that means instead of being an actor I should be some sort of infomercial saleswoman, or game show host.
Then I play 'Alice's Sister'. Now, Alice's sister is kind of a bitch. Alice just wants to hang out, yo. And the Sister is all, 'I have to read my book'. Pfft. What's her deal? Why you gotta read, sister? PRINT IS DEAD! So anyway, she's a bit of a jerk and really boring. She just thinks she's better than everyone else because she has a damn book.
This is the Mouse. I love the mouse because she stutters and is nervous and shy, which is also just like how I am! The mouse is hanging out with a bunch of birds for some reason that is never explained. Why would a mouse hang with birds? Including an eagle, which is a natural bird of prey. The Mouse in the book has a story in the shape of a tail, but I just have a funny voice and four lines. But I love the Mouse. She's cute. I get a tail!
Then there is the Caterpillar.
I kind of hate the Caterpillar.
I love the character and I'm so happy to get a chance to play this iconic thing, but I'm kind of terrible at it. So far, anyway. I haven't found the way to do it yet. And there is a lot to think about, I am standing on this moving platform and other actors are my arms and, anyway, I am dreadful. The Caterpillar is my great shame right now in the play. I don't even know why.
I also suck at playing the Duchess!
HAHAHAHAHA I am not cut out for the stage.
But the Duchess gets a crazy hat!
The Duchess is also one where I have a lot to deal with and I struggle with that. I have a baby and we have to throw the baby and sneeze and I guess it is all too much for my tiny dinosaur brain because so far the only way I have coped is forgetting my lines and failing.
Those two scenes are back to back and they are the parts that I kind of go 'ugh'. SO FAR. Things change. I keep trying to tell myself that I have a week to get it together. But, shit, that doesn't seem like enough. Argh. I have to love these characters more. Throw love at the problem, throw love at the problem.
Then I am the Tiger Lily! I love the Tiger Lily! When I first went through my script I didn't even pay much attention to the flowers. Its a very short scene, I didn't immediately click with Tiger Lily, so I kind of just flipped through it and didn't pay much attention. Then I realized that I was really far behind with my Tiger Lily development and then I just TALKED IN A TERRIBLE ACCENT and all of a sudden I had a character and it was my favorite scene. I really can't wait to see the costume of that one....it's going to be so beautiful!
And then I am the Queen of Hearts.
None of these costumes look anything like these shitty drawings. They are beautiful and amazing and people who have that skill stun me into submission. I just pray that I don't spill anything on their beautiful creations. NO EATING IN COSTUME.
Queen of Hearts is weird because I'm really not doing a character for her. I don't have a voice that is really different from my own. She's more of a human, but a ridiculously exaggerated human. I have been trying to give her a speech impediment, because I think she should have one. Again, I don't know why.
And these are the people I am all day.
I just realized that most people spend time making sure horrible pictures of them DON'T get online. I am never going to find a husband.
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