And he made me feel excited- Well, excited and scared.

Really what it comes down to is this:

I don't know how to walk in the room.

There are all these tiny little anxiety-provoking things that are just normal, the mundane quotidien things but all of them add up and seem like a million ways to fail. How off book should I be for day one? How do I do anything? Where do I put my stuff? How am I always in the way? Where do I go when I get there? What kind of underwear am I supposed to be wearing?

The hard thing about acting is that all the things that make you who you are, the way you are, those things really do impact on how much you work. People have to want to have you in the room. So it is important how you are in the room. And I don't know how to do that. I guess that's true of any profession: no one wants to work with a man-eating troll. But with theatre it seems hyper important. Yipes.

But I am excited. Wanting to go. Wanting to be somewhere else and wanting something to give me some focus. Wanting to WORK. I love working! I do. I have to remember that. I'm also good at working. That's different than being good at acting, because I am not really good at acting, only sometimes. But working? I can work the pants off a horse.....if the horse was wearing pants. Where did she get them? Who is making pants for horses?

So I'm excited. I'm scared. But I'm excited.

Even though I'll never give a performance as electric as this: