This article in the Toronto Star was pretty interesting. Yes, it's true, there's a lot of stuff at Fringe and it all falls somewhere on the spectrum from terrible to wonderful. That's a wide spectrum, and there's a lot of not great stuff. You do, as an audience member need to make choices. You can't see everything. You need ways to slim down the options.
But it's such a demoralizing way to look at the situation, when the article could have as easily be 'Ways to Spot a Great Show'. Really, the whole idea is dumb. There are great one person shows that are dramaturged and done in barns, there are terrible on person shows done the same way. There are amazing epic, musical 30 cast member shows with tons of money, and there is Lord of the Rings: The Musical. None of these things are conclusive evidence that a show will be good or bad.
But if an article about how you have to be selective has to be written, this is such a miserable way to do it. Do it positively. Or don't do this! If seeing all these kinds of shows in these kinds of venues (what the eff is the thing about the venues? So stupid. Factory back is a great space, and you're going to not come because there are STAIRS to the theatre???? Fuck you. You get to sit and watch other people sweat for an hour for your amusement, you can climb six stairs), is such a pain for you, GET ANOTHER JOB.
It's frustrating that I have a hero worship problem, I have so much adoration for so many people in this industry, I'm so jealous of people who are able to make a bit of a living doing this, and I get let down when people in these positions of power, be them artistic directors or reviewers, give me the sense that they aren't in love with theatre. I feel devastated and confused, and then angry.
Because I'm totally in love with theatre and it isn't always the best relationship but I'm in it and I love it in a way that makes me lose myself.
And if you don't, then don't review it. Don't come see it. We don't need you. People are here trying. People who don't get to go or don't choose to go to the theatre get involved in Fringe and that is an amazing thing. Why would you publicize any reason to put the kibosh on that? How is that good for the community that grants you your employment?
Oh, it's very upsetting.
I guess it's the thing I have talked about before that it is so easy to condemn, to shut down, to judge, and put yourself above everything. It takes energy to be positive. It's not easy.
Swoon! was hard for me to be positive about for a long time. I'm learning that I am not really that bright, when it comes to understanding shows. I have an aesthetic and it takes me a while to give up on what I want and see what other people are trying to do. I like things a certain way, which I think is ok for an artist, but my brain works slowly to change and come to appreicate different things. I don't want to be that way, but it takes me time. And I can commit to the action, to working really hard, but I don't always feel it. I can come in and give 100% to your show, but my heart will be going, 'hmmm'. It's the same thing. It's a horrible thing. I'm so embarrassed to admit it. But its true.
But I've come to love this show, things started fitting together, and I didn't ever think that they wouldn't, but I couldn't always see that they would. You know? My worry is not that I lack faith in the people around me....I just worry. It's how I think. I think really it is more thinking than worrying. I do a lot of it though, and sometimes when I do it I look sad, and then everyone hates me. I have to get better at that. Because, somehow, the show works out. This has more than worked out. I'm very proud of this show, and I'm very honored to be in it.
And really, it's the same thing as looking at the Fringe and finding the million reasons to say 'no' instead of the reasons to say 'yes'. I'm working on it.
But say yes to Swoon!
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