Another one bites the dust.
For some reason I'm dreading releasing this one and I don't know why. I haven't added it to my resume yet, which is something I always wait to do after the run is over. I know most actors add something as soon as they get the offer, but I guess I don't want to jinx it. Plus, it doesn't seem like I've really played the role until I'm done with the role. I haven't added it yet. It was a long contract: 7 weeks full time is a lot to spend on a play. I am not used to having the luxury of working on it full time. Normally I would work on something for maybe 7 or 8 weeks, but most of those weeks would just be occasional rehearsals, and then we would have somewhere between two and fifteen shows. This was much longer. This was a much bigger part of my life.
It wasn't a play I loved, and I didn't grow to love it during the run. There isn't enough poetry in it for me. It's quite a mean spirited little show, to me, when I think about it. But I did love touring, so the experience
The next show is happening very soon and it doesn't seem real. And then I will have nothing to do and have to deal with a whole bunch of miscellany that I have heretofore successfully avoided by wrapping my identity completely up in work. That doesn't seem real either.
I don't feel ready for the next show and I'm worried about it. I don't want to be negative and I don't want to be the asshole in the cast so I am trying not to be, but it's hard to be in the middle of something that just seems to be spinning too fast. These plays are like vapor, they are just gone so quickly and it is as if they haven't happened. My clingy nature is not made for theatre. I am not made to be loved and left.
I should probably gather my thoughts about this finished project and put them in a readable form that will emphasize the learning process and the benefits to my ongoing career, but I'm not able to do that right now. I might later. Or I might not.
I'm thinking about this a lot:
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