Or hopefully they do. Tomorrow is our last show. It would be really great if it could be a big one. I want to see throngs of people! Hoardes! Seas!
I'm quickly descending into Post-Show-Depression and I don't know how to not. I am terribly upset that I am missing the cast party and I don't know how to not be. I don't know why these things don't get easier. I've done lots of plays: I should be able to say goodbye to them.
I'm very concerned about my next show, which has the potential to be great, but, because of that potential, also has the distinct possibility of disaster. I feel like a hypocrite because I say that I'm in theatre for the potential for disaster, but when it rears its head I get scared. I wish I wasn't such a baby. I wish I was more of an artist. I need to be more courageous. I also need to be more hearty: not get so down and so scared so fast. It's no good in a team mentality, and I want to work with people, I don't want to create on my own, I'm not interested in that, so I have to get better about not falling apart.
I think there was something I actually wanted to write about, and now I don't remember what it is.
I feel blue.
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