That Wig Back on the Shelf.

I want so badly to be a blogger, but I am obviously not.

I guess this is probably true about being a writer. I think about writing a lot....I write a lot, but nothing ever comes of it. I think about blogging a lot, and how much I want to be a blogger who has this hip blog and cool life and people are interested in me. But really, I don't have those things, I am not those things, so it would be a fabrication, which is another word for a LIE. Which is obviously what I want to do when I write, I want to LIE but do so so skillfully that it is even more truthful than the truth. Ah. I am a poet.

But then I don't. I don't know what to say. So I am still not a writer and not a blogger, even though I want to be. This is because I have to live with my thoughts in my brain all the time, so it seems tiring to want to rehash them and make them public, because they even nauseate me, so why would I want to nauseate the no people who read this?

Ah well.

I need some more pictures, but I did not take any, because I am disorganized.

I did this amazing workshop last week and the week before. I got to be a part of Tout Comme Elle, with Necessary Angel, which is only this company that I have loved for years, and be directed by Brigitte Haentjens who is amazing and Siminovitchy. There were all these famous theatre women in it, and me. It was kind of nerve wracking. The first day I was afraid I would pee and it would be on Fiona Reid. Or Tanja Jacobs. Or other people that I have looked up to for so long AND NOW I'M IN A PLAY WITH THEM OH MY GOD. But it was really exciting and proud-making and inspiring and just really effing nice to get up and go to work ACTING for a series of more than two hours at a time, for which I am not paid and happens in some guy's basement. Professional actors are so lucky. Really. It was nice to be one for 8 days.

And it is a fun, sad, beautiful show that I think will be totally different from anything else, and that is exciting.

And now I'm working at Harry Potter and watching The Bachelorette and feeling like the farthest thing from an actor. I must not watch this show, I must not watch this show.

I am watching this show.

I have projects coming up for a bit, although my schedule right now is making me wig out and that makes me want to get in my bed and do nothing ever, which is the opposite of being super pro-active and fighting for the career I so badly want. I am not getting generals and that is a pain. Come on, theatre companies. See me. See me, THEN reject me. Hopefully these upcoming projects will be awesome and fulfilling and that would be just dandy.

So it goes.