The Songs Were Rotten, The Book Was Stinkin'

I saw some 'art' recently, in the form of theatre, and I really didn't like it.

I am a very tough critic and I'm very easily bored, so it's common for me to not like things. Also, I am played by Jack Lemmon in 'Grumpy Old Men', so I just shuffle around in sweaters hating on everything. It's the best, because I was once in 'The Apartment', which is like....maybe my favorite movie ever? It's no 'Jurassic Park' but it's up there. It's perfection.

Anyway, I like 'The Apartment' and I like 'Jurassic Park' but I often don't like theatre and maybe that's because I'm a crank and maybe it's because I have terrible taste and maybe it's because I'm jealous and confused and want to like my own theatre best so I have to hate everyone else's? I don't think so. I like things on occasion, and I am capable of loving things.

So we know it is not biological.

Seeing bad art makes me feel like I'm an empty plastic bottle being stepped on. By that, I mean it gives me these faces:

I get all crinkly and unfit for recycling.

It's frustrating, especially when I'm not working, so feeling as if I'll never work again....

But this dovetails nicely with my discovery of more and more people who did not like my show, Modern Love. Maybe because I've been able to process things from that experience a bit, and maybe because it has been a while so people don't feel they need to say flattering things anymore, because as time goes by we can all be a lot more honest with each other. But anyway. There are lots of people out there who don't like what I do, and if I keep doing things, I'm sure there will only be more of them.

Honestly, because I'm incredibly sensitive and paranoid (just two of the many reasons I would be a very good Russian spy), I never really thought that anyone liked it, and it's ultimately impossible for anyone to love it in the way that I do or in the way I want them to, which is totally and completely, because it came from my brain, and no one else has that. But then there are people who flat out didn't like it. And also there are reviews that are positive but still manage to harp on little things, or mention what they didn't like prominently, even when they're trying to encourage people to do my show. And of course that bad stuff sticks to me like glue, and becomes the overwhelming flavour.

'Too much Modern and not enough Love', is my least favorite quote. Or my least favorite.

So I sometimes don't like things, and other people don't like things, and sometimes the things that others don't like are things that I made. And that hurts, but .... I do go around shouting my opinion sometimes, so other people will too....

It's so hard to talk about the work that I see and to feel like I have a right to have an opinion on it, because, who am I? It's really hard to make work, and if someone did that, even if I didn't like it, don't I have to respect the fact that they did it?

I think so. At least a little.

The other thing to think is that I try to avoid saying negative comments directly about shows on here, because it will have an impact on my career. And people who are brave enough to write reviews like that, they are taking a risk that they might pay for. I'd like to be a better person, but if we are telling the truth, I will likely not be too favourable to someone who said something about me I did not appreciate. Especially if they said it in front of my best friend, the internet. So maybe those people are brave risk takers, which I have to admire. Even if we don't see eye to eye.

Bastards. Kidding!

I don't know how to balance these feelings, and I especially don't know how to express them, but I bet you they're worth thinking about.

I have been not on Facebook which I am sure is good for my growth and my neverending quest to become an interesting and mysterious person, but not so good for my 'How should I fill this time?' problem, or my 'Maybe I should have friends and leave the house' plan. And that's all that's up.