It's funny reading people's Facebook statuses, and the sheer number of people who are saying 'Fuck you, 2010', or talking about how it was such a terrible year for them. I know that this time last year I felt the same way about SuckFest. I commemorated my feelings for 2009 in cake:
So I know and remember how it is to have a year you can't wait to see the back of. It's kind of really happy-making that I don't feel that way about 2010. Maybe that's just in comparison because 2009 really was so atrocious. Let's not talk about it! This year was far from perfect and I struggled a lot and had a lot of significant letdowns and heartbreaks, but when I compare myself to this time last year, I just think so much good stuff has happened and I feel farther along. Wow, that really seems like a massive accomplishment for me.
I make lots of resolutions on a constant basis, so New Year's is of course no different. I am writing them down and being super specific because I know that's how you have to talk if you want things to happen.
I'd like to tilt the scales in terms of how much I work for free. This year, I came up with a pretty even balance, maybe working a bit more for free, but making money off my acting (and more than once!). In 2011, I would really love that to change. Working more for money than not. Is that a bad goal? Out of the three projects I have tentatively lined up, one is a contract, one is a low (under) paying gig, and one will be unpaid, but something I am excited for. I will probably always work more for free, just because I can, but it would be great to keep climbing.
I want to focus on writing. I say this every year. God dammit. I am so rejected from writing that it seems impossible.
I also want to make the move into self-producing and doing my own work. Again, something I always say and something that scares me, and something that gets put on the back burner because I get offered acting stuff.
I want some good generals this coming year. Come on, legitimate theatres, check me out.
I want the work to go deeper and truer and stronger.
I want to get some better monologues. I am actually so excited about this. As soon as this big stressful thing on Sunday THAT I AM AVOIDING BY WRITING THIS HEE HEE HEE, as soon as that is done I am going on a monologue binge. Fucking A. I'm excited to have new pieces and to feel confident with them. I hope they miraculously appear without me having to do any work.
I'd like to get a joe job that is not babysitting. I miss Harry Potter. It's so valuable to my self esteem to have some little job. And I'd like to move out. And there are a million other personal things that I don't need to share. Don't worry, they're on the master list!
Get an agent. Please.
Ha ha THIS IS SO NARCISSISTIC AND I DO NOT EVEN CARE. I wonder if I have a cyber-stalker yet. Please reveal yourself....but not in the dirty way. Because then I'll cry.
There's more. There's so much more. And maybe I'm setting myself up for failure by making so many and maybe I'm setting myself up for failure by telling anyone, because this guy on TED.com said that was a mistake. But there it is. Goals. Lots of them. Right now it is exciting. Then they will become overwhelming. Then frustrating. Then I eat an entire cake. But now it all still seems possible.
AND, I don't want to get into this stuff, because it is silly, BUT I was nominated for an award by a theatre blog. Pretty cool and nice! I don't want to campaign for votes because almost everyone else nominated is someone I know and care for and want to work with! But it is really great. I found this blog and invited this girl and she ended up seeing me in three shows over the summer. I am trying to foster relationships with new theatre bloggers. I think they're going to become more and more powerful.
Ok, so, bring on the BEST YEAR YET.
Say it with cake!
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