Signs of spring....
There's been so much sun and warmth and perfect breezes the past few days....of course I've been inside rehearsing, but it has been lovely and you definitely feel that something is coming.
Our rehearsal room has these beautiful huge windows on two walls, so you feel the sun. Tomorrow's our last day in that room and I am both very excited and very scared for going into the theatre and what that means.
We had a small invited audience for our last run in the space, which was scary but necessary. 'Scary but necessary': that sounds like a Conservative party campaign or something. Yech. But, they were very kind and sweet.
Appropriate, and, really, quite lovely that we're doing a show called 'Was Spring' that is about looking back fondly and looking ahead hopefully, and how things end but are reborn, and the memories we hold and why we hold them, and how young we used to be and how spring comes and things change and it is spring, while we are thinking about all of these things.
Trying to simplify and be honest and brave. I don't know if any of its working. Continually knocked out by everyone else and continually disappointed in myself, but the disappointment doesn't feel as bad, just like a reminder that I have a lot to learn and a lot of work to do. And really, that's not so bad, if only I can keep the thoughts of never working again at bay.
I feel nervous still, but in a different, less defeating way.
I really just think that it's the spring.
There's hope, right?
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