Because I am, of course, a miserable and lonely human being, I am very sad that my show, Swoon! is over.
Because I am trying to be less of a miserable and lonely human being, a short list of productive ways to deal with my negative feelings:
1) Build small scale versions of cities and stomp on them like some giant troll or lizard.
2) Build large scale versions of cities and run them like Mayor Quimby.
3) Watch Game of Thrones (NOTE: I don't do this, because I usually don't watch any TV that other humans watch. Should I get into it? I don't think I can handle this show. How can there be a game of thrones? Is it like musical chairs? I'm the WORST at that! I am so slow and never listen! Anyway, it doesn't sound any fun. If you have enough thrones that you can make a game of it, you probably just have too many thrones.)
And that's really all I've come up with. I've come to the sad and startling conclusion that when I'm in shows, my life is silly and full of random adventures, often trying to procure props and costumes for the shows, and also just because there are people in my life, so that leads to adventures. Not adventures that are all that exciting, or anything, really, but just things. I think most people call those 'things' or 'life', but to me, they are adventures. Gee, that's pretty sad, eh? Like sitting in a park really late after rehearsal. Or going to see a play in an underground parking lot at 3 a.m. after dragging my friend on a coffee search because I promised the SM I would bring her something, and then of course we couldn't find any, so I just brought a whole bunch of soda pop, but not until I had embarrassed myself at several establishments and walked all over the Annex in a freaking leg brace.
Oh yeah, all the adventures of the past week have involved a leg brace.
But that's the stuff that life is made of!
And I only really do that stuff when I'm in a show, because the rest of the time, I am lured into a semi-comatose state by the twin sirens of TV and my bed. Thank god for my friends, the cast of Community and fictional character Veronica Mars.
Luckily, I am always in a show. I have stuff coming up, and that's lucky. There will be other shows. I always feel like there won't, but there will.
But I miss Swoon! A lot. It was a really strange process, I was certain for a long time that it would fail (I'm not proud of that, but it is true), and then it didn't. At all. It was great. We got some recognition. Finally! Some recognition! I miss the people in it and their pretty faces.
Of course, when one show ends, a wave of rejection sweeps over me, with an agent who doesn't want to take my money (why not?!! that's what I steal it for!), or help me make more money (why not?!! I'm so bad at stealing!), and I think of all the projects I'm not in, and look at all the people who are doing better than me, and run right into the arms of Troy and Abed in the morning. And things always conflict, I commit to one project and then something else rears its head, and I don't know what to do. I can't manage myself (I'M OUT OF CONTROL!), and I'm terrible at business and networking and everything pretty much. I also hate doing it. So I look for the path that leads to fewer people hating me, and that's rarely the best career move. I think most business moguls take the exact opposite path. And look where it got them (Rupert Murdoch)!
So I feel stagnant, again, and confused, again, and without purpose, again.
Eep.
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