I guess they can't all be winners.
I had a pretty bad audition today. I wasn't really prepared. A friend recommended me to the people, so I didn't ever submit, they just asked me to come on in. I liked the sides, and I knew I could do it, but I felt, right off the bat, that I wasn't pretty enough for any of the parts.
I deal with that a lot.
Prettiness is such a weird thing. Almost as subjective as talent. But often more influential. You can overcome prettiness or lack thereof if you are talented enough, but with some people, you'll never get to that point if you're not pretty to begin with. Hence, my problem.
I'd like to do something low key, natural, funny, after so much heightened text, but I felt this right away, so I didn't feel particularly enthusiastic about the audition. And so, because of that, I didn't work hard enough. Because I didn't work hard enough, I got very nervous right when I started. That wasn't helped by the fact that right away I felt they knew I wasn't pretty enough. Ugh, that's such a horrible feeling.
I have to get back into auditioning. I've lost some muscle. I'm uncomfortable and my monologues are not great.
You win some, you lose some.
Right...?
Sigh.
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