I am in a Conventional Dither, With a Conventional Star in my Eye

Sometimes I don't know why I don't blog more because I really do like it, and I like going back and thinking that I am funny. And then it takes forever to upload photos and I know why I don't blog more and it is because it takes forever to upload photos.

I think about blogging a lot. I have things to say, I know that.

So I was not an actor for about four days, and then I got an offer, and that was great. I am in a tenuous balance of feeling good and worrying that it is not enough. It changes second to second. Like the weather in Blaine. Things are ok. Nothing is enough and I have to accept that that is the way I am and fight to make things feel like enough but also be ok with how I'm feeling. Blah.

I want more contracts and I'm fighting for ways to make things feel like enough.

But I'm trying to be grateful. I have goals, and when I reach them, I don't even feel pleased, I just set a new goal, because the first one seems like nothing. But then I never get to be happy. So I'm trying to remember that it was a big goal to get a contract before Tout Comme Elle, and I did, so smile, Jessie, smile!


As if you were dancing to an Irish jig!

the WITCH of edmonton was named an Outstanding Production by NOW Magazine, which is awesome, and means both times I've been in SummerWorks I've had that honor. It was a great thing to be a part of, and I'm so happy I fought to do two shows this summer. It was crazy, but totally, totally worth it. Richard Ouzounian came! That was cool. He had never seen me act before.

Watch how this ordinary homely girl.....


is changed by the magic of THEATRE!!!!


Into some sort of prostitute, I guess. Or clown. A bit of both.

These are my WITCH-y pics-ees.


Do I not look like the happiest kid on the playground in this?? Oh man, do I ever love to dance. Really, I should just be in musicals, always. Because that's all I ever want to be doing. Even though this morris dance was hard. But we got it by the end!

Ahh, there is nothing I love more than thinking something is impossible or being told it is impossible and then FUCKING DOING IT ANYWAY!


Or maybe these are the happiest kids on the playground.

It really did feel like recess. Well, maybe recess at Auschwitz. But there were always lots of puppies. Who wanted our sticks.






Maybe this picture just looks like nothing, but it is representative of the darkness that we entered every night as we walked through the park, not unlike the darkness that the characters revealed in their souls.


Yay for so many pictures!!!!! I wish I had more WITCH pics, but it's hard in the dark. You know how it is!