I Am My Own Best Friend

So I likely won't have a project before I get to go here to do this.

Which is great, so I am great-ful, and that is ok to go so long without acting, right? RIGHT??

BUT I have come to a conclusion which perfectly combines my loves of both madness and sanity.

I'm not going to be given an opportunity, but, as I learned because the Global Reality Channel has been reshowing seasons 1 and 2 of The Apprentice and I have been watching because I love The Apprentice and, as we have learned, I have no projects, I CAN SEIZE OPPORTUNITY.

I have to do my own shit.

Doing my own shit seems fantastic at 10:42 on a Tuesday evening when I lie in bed and have lots of energy. It never seems so good at all other times of the day.

I have lots of skills I want to learn to be a more marketable actor, and I have lots of things I want to write so that I can become a more diversified artist, and also things I want to write so that I can show everyone how great an actor I am and how they should cast me all the time, all the time, all the time. But its hard to motivate myself to do those things.

I like the structure of an external project. Then I have rehearsals, and that gives my whole week structure. Even having just one kind of busy day makes the whole week seem useful to me. But that's not coming right now. It would be nice, but it's not.

So it's on me.

I don't know how to get disciplined about this kind of thing. Left to my own devices, I routinely get really depressed and watch entire seasons of The Apprentice on the Global Reality Channel. I want to write, and learn the ukulele, and to juggle, and all that, but then The Office comes on and, the best laid plans of mice and men....

OPTIMISM.
DETERMINATION.
FEROCITY.

Yup.